Over the past couple of days I've been reading a lot of comment sections on blogs and e-news sources which is to say I've immersed myself in people being jerks on the internet. I did not participate in e-jerkiness myself; it was more of a voyueristic thing, a cross between Diane Fossey and Click the Camera from "Go, Diego, Go."Shhhh... What is presumed to be an adult American female approachs. From her cultural references I surmise her to be in her mid-30's. But given that this is the internet all identities must be treated with some skepticism. She is approaching the watering hole otherwise known as the comment section of a popular website. Others around the watering hole appear leery of her presence.
The subject suggests that she values "honesty" and is "concerned for the children" and quickly moves onto discussion of the original poster's "need for therapy." Upon questioning she asserts that many of her detractors are "just racist" against a group unclear to the researcher. Subsequent comments suggest it might be "people from Kentucky" or possibly "dog owners." Subject's increasingly erratic behavior makes further analysis challenging.
I don't know why I felt compelled to engage in such field work. I've been well aware of this wide spread phenomenon for quite some time. Maybe I did it because sometimes I wonder about where the line is between expressing your opinon and just being an asshole.
Part of me feels like I should go on and make some larger psychological point or draw some kind of dramatic parallel or something but here's what I think it boils down to: don't be a dick. Do you have a feeling you might not be thinking of e-people as actual people? Would you be reluctant to say what you just typed to someone's face because then you'd be worried they'd slap you across the face? Would you in your heart of hearts be 100% okay if someone said to you what you're saying to them? Are you confusing an individual person with a broader societal issue? When you step back do you really think this is the way to go? Have doubts?
Then shut up. Self awareness is a thing. Use it.
Yes yes yes!! sometimes I too wonder about where the line is between expressing your opinion and just being an asshole. But it's there, and it's a lot easier to cross on the somewhat anonymous internets. At least you remained anthropological and just observed this behavior. I've stepped into on occasion and it is ALWAYS a mistake. The biggest dicks are also the most unrelenting and you don't want to get into a fight with someone like this!!
ReplyDeleteI no longer enter into any debates on comment sections or facebook threads. But sometimes, when I feel passionate about something, it's HARD!
I must admit, I did one time wade into an event like this. I ended up in an argument with the commenter. I realized during the argument that it was more than a sense of decency or manners that differentiated that user and I. It was more than a difference in our definitions of right and wrong. Our argument even went beyond our mutual understandings of conduct appropriate to someone claiming to have faith. It seemed to boil down to differences in how we were hard wired. Our primal personalities were inherently different. Definitions can be taught, as can manners and faith; however, personalities can't be over-ridden. It appeared she felt entitled (entitled is the key word) to be entertained in a way that met her expectations and that this blogger, was providing a service. Since the blogger wasn't providing the service she wanted, the user felt the blogger should be discarded by the publication. It never once seemed acceptable to the user, to skip reading this one bloggers articles out of the many the publication employed. She also felt entitled to dictate to others to conform to her sense of what was right regardless of others saying they disagreed. It was a stark illustration in how different we are as people. I would never assume to dictate to others what to like, dislike, or how to do their job simply because it didn't conform to my idea on how something should be done. I clearly don't have the same sense of entitlement she clearly feels she does. I think the basic personality trait of a sense of entitlement is often at the root of people making dick-ish comments (outside of basic essential dysfunction, hate, and undirected anger). I've also had the opportunity to observe a number of children from their birth for up to 18 years. Knowing their home environment fairly well and the differences in their rudimentary personalities, entitlement seemed to be something that separated the kids. Some felt it, while others clearly did not despite having been raised in the same environment. Hence, I can only assume entitlement can be a personality trait that is hardwired and not solely a learned behavior. Gah, I feel like I just wrote a psychological or anthropological dissertation. Clearly, you've touched on a subject that struck a nerve with me. :D
ReplyDeleteVery clever presentation of a really annoying issue. I just don't understand why people feel the freedom to be so mean and nasty! Except that they are safely behind their computer screens. I don't have a problem with people disagreeing with someone, although for me, I just don't bother to comment at all if I disagree with a blog post, but why be agressive and hurtful?
ReplyDeleteBut I, like you, can't seem to help myself from doing 'research', too, because while it's awful, it's a car wreck you can't help but rubberneck.
Our local paper is online. It's amazing how much the dickish comments dropped off when they changed their commment system. Now if you comment it's shared on your personal facebook page.
ReplyDeleteInternet fights are a complete waste of time...guaranteed at least one of the participants have absolutely nothing better to do than write comment after dickish comment.
ReplyDeleteHowever the entertainment value can sometimes be awesome..Recently there was a big fight on a pinterest thread over a cookie dough recipe and some of the comments were hysterical. Not to mention these people were arguing about COOKIE DOUGH
This is why I stopped reading ESPN.com. ;-) But I know the e-dickishness isn't just there. And yet sometimes, I'm more drawn to reading the comments than the original article itself.
ReplyDeleteIt's staggering what people will say on line. Also: it hurts my feelings. Great post.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes read through all the comments on a controversial blog post and just marvel at the obnoxious things people say. It's like they forget that there is a living, breathing human behind the post.
ReplyDeleteRight?? Self-awareness IS a thing! Also, awareness of others is a thing! And to quote Jerry Maguire, "There is such a thing as manners." People forget all this stunningly often.
ReplyDelete