April 21, 2012
M finds a piece of lollipop from earlier in the day on her dress. She does this furtive side eye thing like she's involved in espionage and wants to make sure she hasn't been followed. Then she picks a chunk of lollipop off her dress and brings it towards her mouth.
|Modeling the "steering wheel shirt."|
M: That's a 'strictive binary paradigm.
This might be a sign that I watch too many TED talks within earshot of my preschooler. Because now everything she disagrees with is part of a "restrictive binary paradigm" or "unwise."
April 20, 2012
M received a tank top with peace signs all over it as a gift. Her reaction was, "Wow! I love it! My whole life I've wanted a shirt with steering wheels on it! Thank you!"
Note to self: Make an effort to introduce iconic cultural symbols to off spring. Otherwise she'll be one of those kids that doesn't know who Paul McCartney is and thinks a floppy disk is a save button. And it'll all be my fault.
April 18, 2012
In the midst of doing 17 other things she's not supposed to do M broke my sunglasses yesterday. I loved those sunglasses. I wore them everywhere as sort of a, "Screw you, Seattle! You're not the boss of what I wear!" kind of thing. Or maybe we've just been here long enough that my eyes don't know how to handle non-cloud filtered sunlight any more so I need to be prepared at all times for the potential visual disaster that is a sunny day.
We did time out, revoked sunglasses borrowing privileges for a while, and talked about it. No big deal. Or so I thought...
M: Daddy, what do you think Mommy's going to do to me since I broke her sunglasses?
J: Probably not let you borrow her sunglasses for a while.
|Child not currently on the side of the road in a cage who only bed shares with Elmo.|
M: Do you think she'll put me in a cage and leave me on the side of the road?
J: What?! No!
M: Or maybe she'll put a monster in my bed and make me share my bed with the monster?
J: Also no. Where is this coming from?
M: Well, Dad. I'm spec-a-lating.
On a related side-note, I'm looking for a company that hires out monsters but it's really important to me that they use fair monster sourcing and labor practices. Please contact me if you know of one.
April 5, 2012
|In retrospect we should not have been so surprised the cat needed Prozac.|
Lady: I have a granddaughter just your age!
M: Oh yes! I have a Gran and Gramps too! They're on vacation!
Lady: That sounds exciting. What are they doing?
M: Daddy says they're a-filling white people stereotypes.
My parents were on a trip to Hilton Head to golf and watch The Masters. So this is not an entirely inaccurate statement though it's probably not the kind of joke we should be making within her hearing. It's refreshing to know that she occasionally listens to what we say though. Lately it seems like that's touch and go.
One of the things that no one can prepare you for about parenthood is that you have to explain moments like this to Eastern European non-native English speaking grocery store clerks at any given time with no notice. And then when you stand there taken off guard and mumble something intended to reassure strangers that you don't spend your spare time racially profiling everyone like, "Well. She's shy. We try to bring her out of her shell but ::: shrug ::: what can you do?" people within earshot give you some pretty major side eye.